Sir!, SG4 haven't returned from their mission.
and, what about it?
ehh, It's been 6 hours.
alright! sent SG1 there.
Shit! they hit me
Is that you Mr. President?
Why you didnt cover me you dumbass?
Because that russian asshole sniped me again.
Am gonna kill that Putin one day!
I would ban those snipers for good. It sucks like this!
Where's that Tielk-guy again?
Well if you really want to know, I could use my new protoneutronakadah homomonitor sir.
What did you build again?
No, no. They're seling it there around the corner in toys-store, sir
What the fuck are you carring?
A few dictionaries just in case
You know 24 world languages! and you always show it off...
Well, these are for you in case they kill me or something.
If you take them with you they will probably kill you very soon!
Where the hell have you been?
I was doing my Cloud'no'reem ritual.
Oh, alright
SG1, you got green.
After one succesfull rescue mission.
Mayevsky run!
äà òîâàðèø
Sir, I need to shit.
oh common, you will hold it.
no sir, go I will catch up with you.
NO, we are being chased by Jafas.
But i must!
Fine, go! Lets hope you‘ll kill them with the smell.
oh, Shit!
You useless fool! Thats the 4th time.
i apologize sir
Am not going to forgive you this time.
Fuck
You, will come with me.
I think not
you will pay for this!
Sir, where Jaffas are?
Damn, that slut has stayed there, and they certainly cought her.
Shouldn’t we go help her?
well, probably yeah.
Oh my, Mayevsky return to earth, we are goint to help that slut
sure leader.
If I get a hold on that bitch I think I’ll fucking kill her.
eh? Why?
If that supid bitch wouldn’t let them catch her, I could be enjoying a shower in 10 mins.
O’Heil
What again?
Oh shit!
they must have a Hatak up there.
We should get inside it She is going to be there for sure
But how? The rings are heavily guarded.
Damn, we would need teleports like in Star Trek.
But we aren’t in Star Trek Jack.
Shit! So how the fuck are we gonna get up there?
yea I got it, Teleports
what you mean?
Asgards ofcourse
Thor, my friend
I said Thor!! You death or what?
what do you wish?
Transport us on the ship.
Not on this ship but on Apophis’s ship you grey fool.
So, we finaly here.
So. Where are we going?
To the prison, to save Sam.
Sir, they probably kidnaped Major Cartman
And the rest of SG1 returned to save her
Jesus Crist, they're idiots!!
What do you need, Goerge?
What the hell are you doing here, no civilians allowed in here!
You called us.
No I didn't call you.
oh yes you did
No i didnt!
you did.
Alright i did, ok?
And now get the hell out of here.
What the are you staring at?
In half an hour i want to have a report on my table.
Consider it done.
Where now?
to the right
Eh, Jack, That’s there.
eh, I know, I was just testing you
hmm so no, it was left
Damn am really gonna kill you, So WHERE?
to the left, am sure now
"Prison right. Trap for enemies left"
we go left, right?
But isnt there a trap?
it’s a bluff
Goa'ulds aren’t that smart to bluff!
ok, you’re right
So we go right
ok ok
"I was here" "Die aPOPHis"
Look! A mirror, damn my cap is kinna messed up
eeeh, jack that’s a picture
oh noway
Where’s Sam O’Heil?
Am here! Hello
how did you get out?
Well, I took down the cover from the light
and trough the wires I hacked to the computer…
Is that possible?
No, am just kidding.
Those fuckheads forgot to lock me down.
Fuck you! So we are torturing ourselfs like idiots to get here,
and you rescue yourself.
Am sorry Jack, next time I’ll just let them kill me.
alright that’s good enough.
where did you get your weapon?
I took it in the warehouse, there are no guards. Everyone is in the cinema.
what are they watching?
the Little Mole
I want too...
we should take our chance and find Apophis.
But I wanna se the Little Mole.
I’ll burn him for you on DVD.
alright...
so we go after that Apophis?
yeah! But where is he?
I Do not know, lets try the Peltak.
Pel.. what?
Peltak Sir, that’s something like the Bridge On flag ships
I see, you must always know everything, right?
yes sir, everything, everytime
"Kill the enemy, strenghten the peace"
Supreme Comrade, the prisoner vanished!
What?
well she just escaped,
ran away..
and now she's gone.
you get it?
it was definitly humanas from Tau'ri.
they are already pissing me off for a long time
we gonna destroy them
But Tau'ri is a planet protected by the Asgards
I dont give a shit!
Once we get there on this piece of shit prepare a bath for me to calm down
Alright highest comrade
and d'ont forget my favorite duck.
of course comrade
the Supreme Comrade!
I appologize
O'Heile
What?
The effects of the Cloud'no'reem ritual are vanishing.
What are those effects anyway?
When i do the Cloud'no'reem ritual I get much stronger and tougher.
really? give it here!
You shouldn't O'Heil. it's got totaly different effects on humans
what the hell is that thing?
Het'cha
What?
I think its something like what you on earth call Marijuana.
Ganja
oh, what a beautiful ceiling!
Our commander's baked, now that's perfect.
I must do the ritual, or i shall die.
Did you notice the beauty of this wall?
it's interesting how it has a different effect on jaffas. can i examine you when we came back?
No
please!
alright fine then but you are not gonna touch my precious
your precious?
my larva , my precious
Jack, hey Jack wake up
Sam try breathing on him your fresh breath might wake him up.
What's strange about my breath?
try it!
well, if it'll help
Shit! not that much!
that wasn't a good idea.
perfect, now he is unconcious
we are on a goa'uld ship, Jaffas all around us, and Jack is in a coma. Better when he was high.
Oh, am sorry then. why don't you kiss my ass.
What the hell was that? like if a Godzila breathed on me.
So we move?
yea
"Wear Gas Masks"
sir
What? Can't you see that am taking a shit?
Sir, a hatak appeared on the orbit
eh, and what is that?
That is a goa'uld space ship sir.
Shit, it's that bitch Apophis again i'd say. Be right there
Shit it's closed what now
let me see
yeah it dont work
sesame open!
how did you know
I designed these locks.
you?
yeah i used to be an architekt you didn't know?
eh, no.
Holy shit! its just like in matrix.
Matrix?
yeah, matrix dont tell me you didnt see the movie.
eh, no i didn't
damn, is this possible?
Stop, where you going?
To see Apophis
eh, let me see your passports
these are our passports
reinforcement, send reinforcement!
don't move!
"Apophis's Bathroom" "Do Not Disturb"
wow! that was totaly like matrix.
you think?
totaly!
damn, i think i should check it out
sir, we should see Apophis now.
enough already! this is teribble
everytime it gets entertaining we must go see Apophis.
sesame open!
What the hell?
These you open like this
am just so unlucky
sorry
we'll wait outside
dress up and get out!
eject rescue module
What the ?
Shit what happened, he was just suppose to dress up
he disappeared sir.
i noticed mayor
sorry, i didn't tell you that Apophis's bath-tub is also a rescue module.
god damn it, am gonna kill you, you UFO guy
well, i didn't know that you didn't know.
Autodestruction in 10 min.
shit! Tylk, can we somehow cancel that?
maybe, we should go to the Peltak
General, the satelite just took this picture
What the hell is it?
it looks like a bath-tub, sir
why would they throw it out?
Maybe Apophis didn't like it anymore, sir
maybe, but it could be something more important call the spacetub specialists.
yes sir
"I am a communist goa'uld"
So these are abraka dabrah or sesame open?
neither one these have a photocell
Tylk you take the one on the right, Major you the one next to him
Danny you on the left
Now! what?
I killed, oh my god! I killed!
You killed Danny you bastards!
hey you forgot your stuff
thank you Jack
Autodestruction in 5 min.
Shit, what we gonna do
we must guess the password
lets try it
abrakadabra wrong password you have 2 more attempts that wasn't a smart idea O'Heil.
Shit!
wrong password you have 1 more attempt
Damn!
wrong password autodestruction in 10 sec.
9
8
7
6 ...
fuck this piece of shit ama blast this mothafucker
that was a good idea O'Heil
sir,we are descending to the atmosphere
what does that mean?
If we are going to descend under current angle then the air friction on our hull will cause...
enough!
damn, you never let me finish
can't you say it plainly?
well, we will probably burn.
god damn it! Tylk can you fly this?
ofcourse
so what you waiting for?
You broke the computer so how can i fly it?
oh, right
sir, i think i know how to get out of here
Tylk where the hell are you flying? I must kill Apophis.
Sorry
disgusting, horrible smell
General, the ship is descending to the atmosphere it will probably fall somewhere in the Ocean
Another Hatak on the bottom of the ocean.
Subtitles By: Patrik Martinek allias Trickpah